#3 The State of Dream

I lay back on the cold sand, dug deep into an ocean of memories, I feel my body merge in crust and thoughts hovering above in the sky, a slideshow, I see myself in them. Who are these entities in these pictures, why am I related to them? Some stay some go, all seems a mere dream, my childhood, my teen, do these stay with me when I leave this existence. Where do I go once I leave this existence? Is that the end of Life, attributed to purpose. I feel weightless now, I feel elevated, as if the sky is pulling me towards. I close my eyes, I see flashbacks some scary, some unknown, some loving. I tighten my vision to the extent of negation of thoughts, no vibrations no sight. Behold the state of dream, I am out.

The rising sun lit my body, I am again back. I sit up a heavy head, my eyes rolling, I slowly realize where was I, I rise, I feel born from the crust again and grown up in a sec as I stand, my legs numb, immobilized, down again, I lay back, feeling myself spreading throughout the body. What is my identity, if it is not this body? Is this a state of dream or the one I was in now is? I deliberately access my designations through the memory, is it just a matter of access, what is that is not yet accessible to me? This memory pertains to this very body, can I access the memory which pertains to very me? But why am I here? What am I doing here? All purposes and goals I ever lived for appear futile, all miseries, happiness insignificant, all relations a bondage. Can someone lift me from this state of dream and guide me to reality?

Who else feels like, I scare to share, what if no one understood me? No this is truth, a bold me said, ah this was strength, I feel a missing piece in place and move ahead to fill the remaining …

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