Again yet again, the wave has struck, not being anchored in my thoughts and actions, I get swayed into the dismay of darkness. The codes of truthfulness, the rules of life, the ways of seeking all made by man in pursuit of everlasting happiness has failed to solve. Whole world appears to be meaningless, so many luxuries around, men distracted from their real goal, unaware.
Swimming in the endless ocean, after baits each imbued with temporal happiness and endless pain with bondage. I see people moving around blindfolded in routine activities not knowing the apocalypse they await. Feeling dead I await the reactions of the misdeeds I action-ed, certainly . I reel my life in my head, not a single valuable thing done, birth seems to be a mistake now. I wonder if anyone has found the reason for birth, indeed it’s not my parents or my desire. Appears a punishment, I feel a big picture of my past is hidden from me now and this life a flash of the movie unseen. A rebel against the law, and here I am in jail cuffed to this world. If I choose to rebel to untimely suffer, can I choose to align to be eternally happy. Intelligent and sentient beings we are but insignificant is our control over the reactions, await of which throws us in anxiety and fear. Faith just slipping away from my heart, a pain stirring in. No longer can I now sustain my current course of actions, hoping a change for the best. There’s an unknown enmity in my heart towards the unrevealed controller, I decide to seek thy, who is unknown among the most.
Where do I start? With a flickering faith I desire for an arrangement. I just seek for answers to end this state of confusion. Each instance a repercussion, caught in the complex network of action flow, each node occupied by unknown beings. Not understanding the connection, proud of accomplishments, feared of failures, humans have failed to know this world, and labelled it as uncertain manifested by chance. What’s the use of futile work when I don’t know the result of the same if governed by chance. Self seeks a purpose, a purpose stands no chance in uncertainty, a purpose arises from a purpose. Ah! I now desire to know the purpose of my birth and then everyone around, prior, the purpose of the unfathomable creation.
I see an ant move on my arm, the ant knows the purpose of its existence? Perhaps not even knowing that he is crawling on my arm and confusingly moving around, just like me. Feeling insignificant relating with the ant, moving about not knowing the higher jurisdiction I utter a prayer to the beings not around me but watching my despair, to help me out.